An answer for the doctor...

...who wants to know why I haven't come to see him before now.  Simply put, it's your hostile environment.  To elaborate, it starts in the front office.  As rarely as I go to the doctor, the last 2 times I've been, I've managed to schedule when there was either a winter weather event going on or coming soon.  That's probably because I've scheduled in January, a time I'm not bogged down with summer yard and garden work, and a time when the demanding pressures of the holidays are over.  I'm sure a receptionist who is worried about the road conditions or who has had a rough morning trying to reschedule patients might not be happy, but at least greet that poor lady who is already apprehensive about being there with eye contact and a warm smile.  Don't give off bad vibes when the patient says she says she is self-pay; she's not thrilled about it either, but it's not contagious.
Then your blood pressure cuff is a menace.  Is it just me, or do other patients also get marked up with broken blood vessels or pinch marks from that cuff?  Here is a pinch mark on my upper arm from yesterday.  When I showed darling husband the mark, his sympathy consisted of reminding me I had gone to the doctor on purpose.

(Trigger warning--a "TMI graphic")

 

I once heard a phlebotomist claiming to be vindictive to patients who complained or who were scared of needles.  I am not scared of needles, but I think I will start being scared of mean phlebotomists.
Then there is the doctor.  If you aren't willing to listen to my concerns, we have a problem.
Then there is the spiel.  Okay, this part is just tongue-in-cheek, but my husband requested our good friend Matt Nelson sing this song at a jam last night.  It seemed appropriate to the occasion.  I should record Matt Nelson doing the song.  Here is a rendition done by Little Charlie and the Nightcats:

 

Then you charge me for the aforementioned indignities and wonder why I don't want to see you more often.